Make sure that you are interested in this guy simply because you're interested in who he is. If you want him for anything else, he's sure to get turned off eventually—unless he's desperate himself. Give the gift of your friendship freely, without wanting anything. The "wanting" scares people away. It's easy for people to say, "It's what's inside that counts!
Maybe you would date a guy who is just okay-looking, and as long as he is confident and successful, you don't really care if he is ripped and has 6-pack abs.
The equivalent is not really true for guys. The first requirement for most guys is that you are physically attractive. Without that, you are just friends. Now, does this mean that you have to be a beauty queen? While your appearance is important, different men value different physical traits on a woman. Also, you don't have to be perfect in his eyes, either. You just have to be attractive enough to arouse him, that's all. What does this mean in practice?
Well, consider whether your appearance has changed lately in a way that he may find unattractive. While I don't recommend changing the way you look just to appeal to a particular guy this is an unwinnable game , it may shed some light on why he lost interest.
Also, there's nothing wrong with sprucing yourself up a bit and ditching the frumpy sweatpants when you're around him. In the later stages of a relationship, your appearance will matter less. If you're trying to get his initial attention though, you'll have to consider these "superficial" factors. In a casual way, invite him out to interesting places. Take an active role in getting him to spend time with you and don't wait for him to ask.
Many times, when we spend a long time away from someone in the early stages of romance, the feelings can kind of fizzle out. Keep his interest alive by seeing him regularly.
Of course, this doesn't mean stalking him and always being around him. You do need space, or else he'll feel suffocated. Seeing him a few times a week is more than enough, but you might have to cut down your invitations if he's particularly introverted. Spending time together, especially alone, can help you inch closer together.
If you only ever hang out in groups, there may be parts of each other that neither of you is seeing. These deeper pieces of the vulnerable self are what we're really looking for in each other when we make a connection, whether we realize it or not.
People are often afraid of showing this side of themselves around other people, so make sure that you see him alone. While it's not a good idea to actively try to "make him jealous," since it can backfire spectacularly, nothing moves a potential lover to action more than seeing you with someone else. If he really isn't into you, then he'll probably be happy for you and not seem bothered at all.
There's nothing you can do in that case. However, if he likes you, but was just kind of on the fence about dating you, he might suddenly be interested again when you're getting touchy-feely with others. People get filled with a sense of urgency when someone they like might be off the market soon.
This will also show him that you are non-needy and that he's not the only one for you. Your guy is just an ordinary human being. Treat him like one and your connection can happen more organically. When we're consumed by attraction, it's really easy to become obsessed with a person, especially if we're young. It's only after all of the chemical reactions have run their course that we think to ourselves, "Man, they weren't as great as I thought! These kinds of feelings can ironically make us do the exact opposite of what will attract someone.
We'll seem desperate, we'll seem pushy, we'll act nervous and awkward. Instead, try to remind yourself that he's a human being. Make a list of all of the things about him that are imperfect if you can—and not just the "cute" stuff that makes him more lovable to you. Bring him down from that pedestal and try to see him for the human that he is. Another symptom of that weird obsession that love causes is to have no social life beyond the guy you like. If you're not hanging out with other people or even dating other guys, then this is a real problem.
Not only will it probably make him lose interest faster because someone with "no life" is by definition less interesting , but it can also send you spiraling into a love-sick depression.
They may even experience a dip in interest level. Do you know exactly why it happens and how to handle it? The next issue arises at that inevitable point when the man asks himself: Do I want to commit to this woman for the long term?
The answer will determine everything. Do you know what inspires a man to commit? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc. Does he spend time with you as often as he used to? Question 1 of No, he never spends time with me.
It's like I don't exist. He spends more time doing random things. Internet, friends, work, etc. Yes, he spends the same amount of time with me as he always has. How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One? How To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Search A New Mode. Recent Relationship Forum Activity So many confusing signals 3 hours, 10 minutes ago.
About Does He Like Me? Yes, but he never seems to want to be there. I don't know. So you feel like he is losing interest and you are anxious about it.
You might even be trying to fix the situation only to watch it get worse and worse or at least, not get any better. In this article, I am going to take you through the four different scenarios where a man is losing interest and give you the specific solutions to apply depending on the situation you are in. In general, the way to identify whether a guy is not and was not that interested in you is based on the amount of effort he put in.
You probably initiated everything and pushed everything forward. Now, there are many possibilities when it comes to the kind of situations women find themselves in when the man was never really that interested. This is one possibility.
How do you identify if this is your situation? You have to ask yourself, would you characterize the relationship as a sex based relationship? Like, maybe you go to lunch once in awhile and do some fun things together… but primarily, is it a sex based thing?
In this kind of situation, for the most part, all the interactions, more or less, are a track to sex. You might think that you have a connection or a relationship… and because you want this, project this upon the guy. You might think the interactions are leading into something, when in reality, if you really thought about it, you would see that beyond a physical relationship there is not much there.
This is another common situation. You go out on a date and seem to hit it off. Things seem great and you think there might be a connection and a real chance of things working out. Maybe you sent him a text telling him you had a good time and he did not respond, so your heart suddenly drops and your stomach turns in a ball of miserable anxiety and disappointment.
In both situations I described and in any situation where a man is not that interested, it all comes down to being thirsty for something and expecting something out of the situation.
Actually, it puts a lot of pressure on a budding relationship since when you hope for something and end up eagerly expecting something, you are waiting in anticipation for something to happen in order to feel happy and fulfilled. You have an outcome in your mind, an end goal.
A common side effect of having expectations is, you get so excited about the expected outcome that you end up trying to make a situation work that is not naturally working, by trying to shove a square peg through a round hole. Stop trying to shove a square peg through a round hole and realize that you cannot force him to be interested if he is not.
This is a key understanding that I really want you to let sink in: no amount of convincing will make a man interested in you and no amount of convincing is necessary for a guy who was actually interested in you. Instead of focusing on someone who is not interested in you and giving you what you want, select someone who is interested in you and gives you what you want.
Real success comes from selection , not from turning something that is not working into something that is magically going to work. You can thank Hollywood for giving you the false idea that you can somehow turn a guy who is not interested into the man who gets down on one knee for all the world to see and professes his undying devotion to you this is an extreme example but captures the core of what I am trying to convey to you here….
The bottom line is you are choosing the situation and can also choose to exit and put yourself in a position where you can choose a man who is interested in the way you want him to be. Maybe in the beginning of your relationship, there was a lot of romance and excitement yet now he seems a lot less romantic.
Maybe he used to do little romantic things for you, take you to nice, fancy dinners and go out of his way to make you feel special. This, however, is not a bad thing or a problem that should make you worried. It is an extremely common, natural progression in a relationship dynamic that happens as time goes by.
Yes, things might have changed, but there is no need to worry.
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