Making friends. Making more friends. Dating people. Dancing to loud music under the glittery lights of the bars that smelt like lemon as alcohol ran through the blood of me. Missing an after-party was the death of a social life. Then, one day, it all came to a stand-still, suddenly. I found myself standing on the edge of a really high cliff looking down at all that I was doing along with my clique. Was I becoming anti-social? Was it all a part of growing up? No, I just realised, I had hit social menopause.
Yes that is a word, two words to be precise, that perfectly explains my state of being. I know a lot of people like me, who are going through the same. Some places have groups that organize discussion circles where people listen to information about a new topic, play games, and share their opinions. Pub quizzes, Toastmasters, support groups, and book clubs can be great social hobbies and an opportunity to meet new people. You can use Meetup and Facebook to find events near you.
You could host a small group of friends at your house instead of going to a big party. You can suggest a potluck type of event, where everyone brings a dish they bought or cooked. You can talk, watch a movie, or play games. It can be fun to get into a new show with a friend and meet up once a week to watch an episode or two.
What about gathering some materials and doing a painting tutorial together? Learn a new language, pick up an instrument, or try to learn a new skill. You can learn how to improve your social skills through books , Youtube videos, or online courses.
Or take a break from the social world. Coding, investing, cooking, making music, fixing things — you can find tutorials about everything online.
Spending time alone can be immensely rewarding. Try to refrain from using any screens for the evening. Put on your favorite type of music and dance around. Make yourself a cup of tea.
Use the time to do some healing inner work. Try a self-love meditation and then journal. You can use journaling prompts to go deeper and gain more clarity. We have more ideas for activities you can do without friends.
Taking an active part in planning or setting up the party can help you feel more comfortable. It will also give you something to talk about leading up to and during the party so that you will feel less awkward. If you feel uncomfortable dancing, practice! Remember, most people feel some uneasiness dancing.
Close your eyes if you need to. Just learn to feel comfortable moving around. Concentrate on the music and how your body wants to move. Pick and choose the most important events, and prepare in advance. Make sure you give yourself enough time to rest before and after the party to gather your energy.
Practice making eye contact and getting along with people to make parties easier and more enjoyable for you. People like to party because it helps them forget about the daily stressors of life. Parties can be an escape from the daily grind, where you can just focus on having fun and not think about anything else.
Our bodies take longer to bounce back from drinking and sleepless nights. We also tend to have more responsibilities, so partying may be less appealing. Some parties are just large gatherings of people with some music.
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